Just Call Me The BedBug Hitler
Jeeeeeeezuz.
You should have seen me. Really. Last night, around 10:30pm I take a hot bath (they have apparantly decided to turn off the heat in the building before Vancouver got a chance to realize that it's summer) and walk into my bedroom. I put on my now nightly attire - long pants tucked into huge socks, a turtleneck (the night before I wore a vneck and that little patch of exposed skin on my collarbone became a bedbug buffet) tucked into gloves. Tossing around some new ideas I figured I might use different pillows to see if that makes any difference at all and picked up one of the other, usually unused pillows and as I lifted it into the air I saw it. A bedbug. Running for cover followed by several other baby versions! There they were, finally, the actually bugs in front of my eyes!! I pounced on the bed and tried to follow them as the ran away so not to lose them or maybe to find out where their 'home' might be...and as I peeked under one of the posts on my headboard I saw it hiding.
What happened over the next few hours is still a blur. I went ape shit. All I know is I wrapped some sort of fabric around my face, got the raid, some tweezers and pill bottle and went to town. I ripped my bed apart holding my lamp in one hand to shed more direct light on the subjects and started to root them out. I dismantled my bedframe, turned my mattress over, unscrewed hinges, tore baseboards off the wall. And let me tell you ----
They were - are - everywhere.
I sprayed and killed and captured over a dozen of the big, engorged-with-my-blood adults and many more little baby ones. I found nests of eggs and fecal matter. All the evidence I have been wanting for two months just suddenly appeared. I was too driven to be horrified. I was in a rage. Damn you, you little bastards, I kept thinking, you wanna drink my blood? Drive me insane?! Think again....and I twisted my body into positions I forgot it could get into just to inspect areas and cracks and crevices to find these enemies of mine. I did this until I was totally exhausted and my room looked like a hurricane had hit it...well, I suppose a hurricane HAD hit it - its name was Krista.
High from the fumes and the frustration, I collapsed onto my couch at 3am and tried to warm myself under a few fleece blankets. My sleep was erratic and uncomfortable. I felt like I was being bitten all night, which maybe I was because who is to say that they are only in my bedroom??? I woke up every two hours and checked the clock. Finally, when my alarm went off at 10am, I had nothing left in me but saddness. My home. My sanctuary. It is haunted by ghosts of a love that has torn me to shreds, is filled with bugs that have covered me head to toe in itchy bites, has a shower with a burst pipe that drips rusty water from the ceiling and is slowly starting to feel more and more like a liability than a home. I loved this apartment. But, like the doctor I saw today said to me, maybe it is time for me to move. Sleeping like a stranger on my own couch, I definitly feel like the universe is trying to tell me something.
Today, I vaccumed and sprayed bleach on everything. Now, the place smells like a public pool. Tomorrow morning I go to Pender and I couldn't be happier to get out of here and that breaks my already broken heart. Next weekend I will test to see if I am still getting bitten and when I probably do, I will call Pest Control, money or no money. Either I will win or they will win...
but either way, feels like this character may be needing to exit stage right with a slow fade to black...
...end scene.
You should have seen me. Really. Last night, around 10:30pm I take a hot bath (they have apparantly decided to turn off the heat in the building before Vancouver got a chance to realize that it's summer) and walk into my bedroom. I put on my now nightly attire - long pants tucked into huge socks, a turtleneck (the night before I wore a vneck and that little patch of exposed skin on my collarbone became a bedbug buffet) tucked into gloves. Tossing around some new ideas I figured I might use different pillows to see if that makes any difference at all and picked up one of the other, usually unused pillows and as I lifted it into the air I saw it. A bedbug. Running for cover followed by several other baby versions! There they were, finally, the actually bugs in front of my eyes!! I pounced on the bed and tried to follow them as the ran away so not to lose them or maybe to find out where their 'home' might be...and as I peeked under one of the posts on my headboard I saw it hiding.
What happened over the next few hours is still a blur. I went ape shit. All I know is I wrapped some sort of fabric around my face, got the raid, some tweezers and pill bottle and went to town. I ripped my bed apart holding my lamp in one hand to shed more direct light on the subjects and started to root them out. I dismantled my bedframe, turned my mattress over, unscrewed hinges, tore baseboards off the wall. And let me tell you ----
They were - are - everywhere.
I sprayed and killed and captured over a dozen of the big, engorged-with-my-blood adults and many more little baby ones. I found nests of eggs and fecal matter. All the evidence I have been wanting for two months just suddenly appeared. I was too driven to be horrified. I was in a rage. Damn you, you little bastards, I kept thinking, you wanna drink my blood? Drive me insane?! Think again....and I twisted my body into positions I forgot it could get into just to inspect areas and cracks and crevices to find these enemies of mine. I did this until I was totally exhausted and my room looked like a hurricane had hit it...well, I suppose a hurricane HAD hit it - its name was Krista.
High from the fumes and the frustration, I collapsed onto my couch at 3am and tried to warm myself under a few fleece blankets. My sleep was erratic and uncomfortable. I felt like I was being bitten all night, which maybe I was because who is to say that they are only in my bedroom??? I woke up every two hours and checked the clock. Finally, when my alarm went off at 10am, I had nothing left in me but saddness. My home. My sanctuary. It is haunted by ghosts of a love that has torn me to shreds, is filled with bugs that have covered me head to toe in itchy bites, has a shower with a burst pipe that drips rusty water from the ceiling and is slowly starting to feel more and more like a liability than a home. I loved this apartment. But, like the doctor I saw today said to me, maybe it is time for me to move. Sleeping like a stranger on my own couch, I definitly feel like the universe is trying to tell me something.
Today, I vaccumed and sprayed bleach on everything. Now, the place smells like a public pool. Tomorrow morning I go to Pender and I couldn't be happier to get out of here and that breaks my already broken heart. Next weekend I will test to see if I am still getting bitten and when I probably do, I will call Pest Control, money or no money. Either I will win or they will win...
but either way, feels like this character may be needing to exit stage right with a slow fade to black...
...end scene.
posted by KJ Konkin at 12:00 AM
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