Wade in the Water
Last night was magical.
If I have questioned where I belong in this world, then I was reminded last night of one place that has never held any doubt and that is on stage. It just makes sense to me up there. I know how to tell a story and make people laugh and bring them to tears with the rawness that is my bleeding heart. Everyone said it and they are right - I am at home on stage. I am just not at home with giving up the rest of my life to running from contract to contract with no security and complete self-obsession. I pray to Whatever is Out There or Whatever Is In Me to guide me to a place where I can be on stage and know a simple life of love and All That Is Good. Ahhhh, last night was fun.
Speaking of not belonging, I spent the day by the water and watched the worlds of people that belong to the ocean. The working class fishermen who are rough and wind-whipped, wearing slickers and rubber boots and looking like, although they live on water, they hardly bathe. And just down the dock, the yaught owners with their all-over tans, polo shirts and khaki shorts. They, too, walk around the marina like it is their home, just with alot more money. Over to the right of the marina are the kayakers in harmony with the cove, connected completed with the slick surface of the water and to the left the motorized dingy's filled with lake front home owners puttering into town in a manner that seems second nature to them...
All of it fascinates me. I dangled my feet in to a hot spring with a waterfall right over head and watched this world below me go about its business. As a landlocked prairie girl, It is planet I have seldom visited and know next to nothing about. It calls to me and frightens me, but I am not sure it is Who I Am. Or maybe it just has never been Who I Was. I am still manifesting a boat ride this summer and/or a little sailing. If I am going to work beside the ocean and live in a city on the ocean, I want to get to know the ocean a bit better.
Come away, O human child!
to the waters and the wild
with a faery, hand in hand,
for the world's more full of weeping
than you can understand...
- - - W. B. Yeats
Oh, Yeats, I understand...four days before I turn 30, a lost soul here in the wild by the waters and still so heartbroken, I begin to understand...
If I have questioned where I belong in this world, then I was reminded last night of one place that has never held any doubt and that is on stage. It just makes sense to me up there. I know how to tell a story and make people laugh and bring them to tears with the rawness that is my bleeding heart. Everyone said it and they are right - I am at home on stage. I am just not at home with giving up the rest of my life to running from contract to contract with no security and complete self-obsession. I pray to Whatever is Out There or Whatever Is In Me to guide me to a place where I can be on stage and know a simple life of love and All That Is Good. Ahhhh, last night was fun.
Speaking of not belonging, I spent the day by the water and watched the worlds of people that belong to the ocean. The working class fishermen who are rough and wind-whipped, wearing slickers and rubber boots and looking like, although they live on water, they hardly bathe. And just down the dock, the yaught owners with their all-over tans, polo shirts and khaki shorts. They, too, walk around the marina like it is their home, just with alot more money. Over to the right of the marina are the kayakers in harmony with the cove, connected completed with the slick surface of the water and to the left the motorized dingy's filled with lake front home owners puttering into town in a manner that seems second nature to them...
All of it fascinates me. I dangled my feet in to a hot spring with a waterfall right over head and watched this world below me go about its business. As a landlocked prairie girl, It is planet I have seldom visited and know next to nothing about. It calls to me and frightens me, but I am not sure it is Who I Am. Or maybe it just has never been Who I Was. I am still manifesting a boat ride this summer and/or a little sailing. If I am going to work beside the ocean and live in a city on the ocean, I want to get to know the ocean a bit better.
Come away, O human child!
to the waters and the wild
with a faery, hand in hand,
for the world's more full of weeping
than you can understand...
- - - W. B. Yeats
Oh, Yeats, I understand...four days before I turn 30, a lost soul here in the wild by the waters and still so heartbroken, I begin to understand...
posted by KJ Konkin at 4:00 PM
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